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(81) Eva Longoria Lies About Eating Cheetos On Twitter!
Explicit
November 29, 2012 05:57 PM PST
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New mini-podcast, can you believe it?! Haven't posted in a very long WHILE but had to say something about some of the things we have seen on our Twitter timeline NAMELY Eva Longoria LYING about eating Cheetos! Miss you all terribly and not sure when there will be another podcast but someone had to tackle this tough issue once and for <!--more-->all! Music: Earth Versus the World - The Polish Ambassador  Love to love you, Sandi Catch up with us at http://TheLesbianMafia.com and http://twitter.com/thelesbianmafia Eva Longoria's Snacking Tweets: The first one made us FURIOUSLY unfollow her and the second tweet is what made us realize we had to deal with this issue once and for all! Then we went back to her page (because we missed her) and saw she had been shit-whoring for Baskin-Robbins and Frito Lay and said she was in a guacamole and chips coma from going to Beso's restaurant and that she saw the movie Lincoln. She's one of a handful of celebs we do still like but even a tulip like Eva doesn't get a free pass, she needed to be dealt with and made an example because no one wants to see commercials on Twitter!   She's LYING!   Disclaimer: The word "retarded" was said in this show and it was not done to offend anyone. If you love or know someone, or know someone who knows someone who is mentally disabled, or if you're one of those superior beings who never says anything offensive because you're perfect and more evolved than us, we're sorry, we weren't trying to malign anyone. As we have said before, we have never and would never call someone who has a mental disability retarded BUT in conversation sometimes the word slips out. We love you all. 
(80) What Are We Talking About?
Explicit
April 26, 2012 12:51 PM PDT
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Ciao, long time. Ignore the color of the audio player (on the site) it's ugly and needs to be changed. Nicole begins with an audio apology for being a slacker s.o.b so I “audio” answer because these bitches do NOT help me for shit! Let's hope they aren't as LAZY in the sack as they are with NOT EVER helping me with this podcast!!!

It’s just me and Nicole on this one and it’s gets a little contentious and I do some yelling because the Lesma bishes have been slackin’ too long but it’s all in good fun and we FINALLY got another podcast out for crying in the rain! Now that they have been shamed publicly maybe we’ll be able to post more regularly? One never knows does one?! This one is a little random and nutbar-ish, there’s a little talk about being Ma, blackberries and Nicole’s refusal to give up her old man phone when she gets a free upgrade, Sarah Palin in the movie Game Change, acupuncture, Dr Lee, hospitals and the how much scarier they are when you know what really goes down there, birds, reincarnation, why wasn't Ricky Eva Peron in Evita? Madonna, exes, the Wizard of Oz and more!

Music by:

Let the Music Play – Space
Download on Beatport: http://s.beatport.com/LetthemusicplayBP
Available on other portals on May 7th.

Gloria Gaynor - Never Say Goodbye
Download at amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-music&field-keywords=never+say+goodbye+gloria+gaynor

(79) Chica Bomb
Explicit
January 18, 2012 11:24 PM PST
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Finally been bullied into posting a new show, it’s been forever! Been having some technical issues with the site, PLEASE ignore the hideous colors on the audio player, they’re DEFINITELY temporary, but we ARE going to try to post more regularly and if you don’t like this one, blame the listeners who finally got us to get it done and post this one! Longer than usual mono where I talk catalog models, and things. Nicole decides to record while drinking which is the first time anyone on the show has ever been under the influence. We talk horoscopes, the lesbian Bernie Madoff and in case anyone couldn’t tell she was drunk she starts off telling me how wonderful I am and it eventually turns to how awful and controlling I am! Then a chat with Lale about love at first sight, her impending visit to NYC and why I’ve alerted Homeland Security, and why sexual attraction and kissing may be chemistry but does it mean they will be good in the sack? A little bit of a cut in at the end into the middle of a convo we were having about Maria Belforti who we blogged about a while ago and how bishes like Shim think they have power of attorney over God. And P.S. we’ve got nuthin’ against the Buddha-man and not trying to hurt or make anyone feel judged, just trying in my own inadequate way to make a point about abandoning God because of idiots.
http://thelesbianmafia.tumblr.com/post/10841134783/response-to-nyt-article-click-here-first-rights

Music by Dan Balan – Chica Bomb
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Chica-bomb-original/dp/B0061O92Y4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1326871464&sr=1-1

DO check out the Chica Bomb video here, you may like it! You’re welcome. =}

http://youtu.be/bshlibX_G9w

Love,
Sandi
Xxo

(78) Lezbun Sessions
Explicit
November 04, 2011 01:37 PM PDT

mono is super short and TBFTGOG plays for too long but what are ya gonna do? experimenting on skype with Lale in LA and of course the sound is dreadful. we talk cigs, lesbian repair men, and more!!! Nicole and I chat about her leaving the psych ward gig, coming out at her new one, and other stuff like what to do when you find out that you’re not sexually compatible with your partner late in the relationship.

disclaimer: horrified at even the possibility of my nephew being gay because I know exactly what the repercussions are for being gay in my family.

http://twitter.com/thelesbianmafia

Bonus TLM Audio via Twitter:

AUDIO: (10/19/2011) Nobody’s Bitch Take on OWS – This is just an audio addition to the Tumblr post from earlier today….http://chirb.it/24PJ4M

Original Tumblr blog re: OWS (10/14/2011) http://dld.bz/aw7Tb

AUDIO: 4 Minute Debate via 7 yo Nephew http://chirb.it/8brGqM

talk to you soon!

yours,
sandi

(77) The We Hate This Show Show But Love You Like Crack Cocaine
Explicit
August 23, 2011 08:06 PM PDT
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We really do hate this particular podcast with a passion. We talk a lot about nothing but here it is regardless, because we feel intensely pressured to post content even if it’s devoid of meaning … like Julie Chen’s every tear.

Mostly all of it is recorded on the portable, which is lazy, so it’s tinny, there’s lots of shouting and the sound goes in and out. You know we like to keep it Hollywood.

And while we realize not every song your girlfriend/partner likes is autobiographical, especially if they’re a music lover, we’re just saying if she is bizarrely obsessed with a song, you might want to pay attention to what it’s about. If you’re a lesbian worth your salt you’ve already raided her closets when she was in the shower anytime she’s ever done anything remotely suspicious, but some of you get lazy. We’re just saying … don’t sleep on a biatch!

Love you more than Crank.
Sandi

(76) Kaleidoscope
Explicit
June 22, 2011 08:51 PM PDT
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Not really sure what's happening here but at listener's requests we tried AGAIN do to a prank and clearly it's not working out. Just can't seem to get thru them like we used to, not sure why. We will try again in the future and hopefully get them right again.

After the Gay Girl from Damascus hoax revealed that Lez Get Real "A Gay Girl's View on the World" was yet another hoax. The site is still up, they've accepted zero accountability and if possible seem even crazier than we already thought they were. They've said they will continue posting it's normal stupidity under Lez Get Real "A Gay Girl's View On the World" posing as lesbian women even though the site is run by a heterosexual man who did 2 years probation and community service for domestic violence; a transgender, who is supposedly lesbian transgender, ya ok... and one of their mother's. No lesbians. These imbeciles, specifically Bridgette LaVictore has been aggressively cyber stalking us for quite a long time but didn't put them on blast before we understood the details. Unfortunately we can't blame all of our stalkership on these locusts, we could have an academy awards ceremony to house all of them.

And re: opening, of course we don't know if anyone really is or isn't an alcoholic, it's best to assume we're probably exaggerating, but in some cases we are definitely NOT!

Are lesbians exempt from every being considered slutty? Not that we don't adore the word Slut amid the right occasion, but really. What else? Who has a memory longer than a webpage download these days, can't remember it all, tune in and find out!

Listener voicemail from geminichanel is regarding show # 59.

A lot of this is recorded on the portable which requires some shouting. Please be forgiving of this situational scenarioscope.

And BTW neither of us have ever cheated and we think it's gross. And we love you vegetarian's too, sheddap! Except for the preachy sanctimonious a-holes, we just tolerate you.

Love you long time.

Yours,
Sandi

(75) Prank Fails and Jive
Explicit
April 29, 2011 09:46 PM PDT
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Maybe we’ve outgrown the pranks, yeah? We tried over and over and over to get through one prank and failed every single time. Tune in and you’ll hear how pranks with lots of potential go from bad to worse because of our inability to execute, as me and Niki pretend to be a couple on the rocks.

At 59, Mom spontaneously tells her very first joke ever, from of all places, an ER bed during a medical emergency; conversely, after decades of buffoonery my trying out some goofy generic one liners like “This place is hotter than a Turkish bathhouse!” on very busy doctors and nurses fell completely flat. Thank you for all of your well wishes. Mom is coming along, while she kills ME in the process!

Some chatter with Nikki about Shakira (?), falling Grandparents, Dancing …God knows what else; And some convo with Lalee about other things, sometimes weird things.

A lot of this podcast is recorded on a portable which requires some of the yelling-ish, bear with us.

Missed you.

Love you long time.

(74) Are Women The Inferior Sex?
Explicit
January 18, 2011 11:26 AM PST
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20 minute monologue, a message to 2030, crazies, gay male sexist oppressors, tackling the tough questions on woman-haters and why they have no b@lls, Hollywood crap movies, then Lale calls in and we talk Giffords, fire arms and Jersey Shore.

blogs referenced

Why we have too few women leaders

http://is.gd/jgBNG

LGBT and Liberal Feminist Hypocrisy Defend Islam While Women are Whipped

http://is.gd/iHfnz

(73) Karma By Dog Leash
Explicit
January 18, 2011 11:15 AM PST
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Mark Dadoff; Feminazis who are just as man-hating as misogynists are woman-hating; Liberal Nimbyism; Reactionary righty pundits who play the game and believe w/o bothering to thoroughly examining their beliefs…

Mark Madoff, oldest son of Bernie Madoff, hangs himself with dog leash in SoHo apartment http://is.gd/iDPAZ

Music: All I Want For Christmas Is You – Mariah Carey http://is.gd/iEJky

update: was wrong re: Malkin. knew disparity btwn top 20% & bottom 80% but didn’t see the connection btwn top 20% and top 1%. after going over these stats it clears up why ppl in top 20% have same $ ideology as top 1%. 20%ers, they don’t even come close to bottom 80%. huge diffs btwn top 1% and top 20% but there still is a rather revealing link. so lib dems in top 20% who feign outrage at Bush Tax extension & somehow still loveypoo their 0bama are full of shit phonies. oh, and they’re so benevolent & “caring” ..touting 0bamacare which is NOTHING like the European model & is NOT “Medicare for all.”

Who Rules America? (stats update Dec 2010) http://is.gd/jc9R6

(72) Master of Intellectassy
Explicit
January 18, 2011 11:05 AM PST
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Solo Rant. Lots of yelling.

Warning: If you are in love with 0bama DO NOT listen to this show and start whining. Just continue shunning us, we love that.

Maybe it was the guy who shot the TV at Bristol Palin over Dancing with the Stars who Twittered TLM last night. He tried to school me and let me know my place. I’m certainly not as smart as he is if I don’t recognize what a “MASTER of Intellect and Genius” 0bama is. Interesting choice of words, Master. Surely, I must not be as much of a GENIUS as said Twitterer because I don’t senselessly Palin-bash and can have a completely objective conversation about her. In fact, I find people who can’t, embarrassing. Certainly Palin is not a even a human being and deserves to be scorned because… well, basically she should just die, of course. Silly me, I should know these intellectually superior things.

PS – Recovering from a bad case of bronchitis, please excuse.

Music: King of Anything by Sarah Bareilles http://is.gd/hZJAH

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